If you are unsure, use a formal address. Address your e-mail with a generic greeting, such as "To Whom It May Concern," when you have absolutely no information regarding gender, name or title, according to the Purdue University Online Writing Lab. Hi Kim 1 for cover letters: Address it to the hiring manager. If not, use a formal title, until he or she tells you otherwise. In English we use the phrase "on a first name basis" or "on first name terms" to describe a relationship that is not as formal as it seems it should be. What's your name? You may worry about saying the right thing, or striking just the right tone of respect without crossing the line into fawning or appearing to curry favor. Perhaps it's because you are asking the other person to provide their status or position in the world in relation to yours. If you are unsure of what to call someone, it's best to use a formal address or simply ask one of these questions: You might not be the only person wondering about titles. In this US, you’ll hear these words in fancy hotels and restaurants where people expect a special level of treatment. If you write back a second time you can use the respondent's letter as a guideline. San is such a useful general purpose address that at first that it becomes easy to forget that there are plenty of others. Some women will change their name back to their maiden name. What should I call my (boy)friend's parents?A. I encourage non-native speakers to stop referring to adult teachers as “teacher.”. Why can’t I call you ma’am?”. Some may have nicknames they will tell you to use. Read more: A Comprehensive List of Job Search Sites What you need to know is that you would only use a military title on formal invitations (like for a wedding) or situations. ‘Hello there’ ? As I mentioned at the end, if you’re not sure how to address someone, you should ask them. Some of us use “Dear Sir/Madam,” or “Dear ABC Company,” or “Dear XYZ Department” to great email to an unknown person. They ensure this website works correctly. How should I address people online?A. Four Short Words Can Start a Conversation in English, Ask “How do you like to start your day?” to Get People Talking About Morning Routines, Indirect Questions – Make Requests and Offer Subtle Suggestions, How to Give Clear Suggestions and Strong Recommendations Using Polite Language. What should I call my hairstylist or beauty care worker?A. Instead, we use polite language/grammar structures/intonation. You wouldn’t refer to someone as an instructor – it sounds weird, just like teacher. You’re probably asking yourself, “But Kim, I’m trying to be more polite when speaking English. Anything else? Start formal. In other cultures, you may use different forms of address in order to show respect for someone who is more senior than you, or older than you, or someone you feel you should show respect to. Q. Use Sir or Madam/Ma'am for any type of travel or transportation worker who is not wearing a nametag. It’s too complicated to get into here! Last names and titles are traditionally the more formal way of addressing someone. Many times, this al… If you don’t know someone’s name, then you can always ask for it and then start using it. Fortunately, now I have a such clever network teacher like you and according to that I have a great opportunity to receive your lessons, watch your videos, ask all about what I want to know. Don't use the generic term "Teacher". Cookie Policy | Terms and Conditions | Privacy Policy Q. The appropriate title to use when writing to a man is Mr. For a woman, use Ms., even if you know the addressee's marital status. Our lives take us down many different paths. The same about teacher. One exception to the rule of using "Ms." in correspondence is when the person has sent you a letter or email and signed it "Mrs." In that case, use her preferred salutation of "Mrs." We are often lucky when we find a teacher who motivates us, no matter the subject. But in general the word “sir” or “lady” for women is really only used in formal situations when you don’t know the person’s name. Let’s start with the title “Dr.,” short for “Doctor.” In general, we only refer to someone as “Dr.” when they are a medical doctor (MD) or have a Ph.D in hard sciences. (We’ll talk more about professors in just a moment.). All the best. It’s perfectly okay to ask someone how they would like you to refer to them. Sie is used for those people we address as Herr, Frau and with other formal titles. In American English, the word “ma’am” is generally used for someone significantly older than you. Here's an example reply: "I know you're very busy, but I don't think you meant to send this email to me. You’ll fit in better with native English speakers, sound more natural, and show your familiarity with American customs. Lady is unnatural and ma’am is unpleasant, ok, but you failed to mention what would br the natural and pleasant way to adress! When you’re studying for an advanced degree, you’re considered an “equal,” so you’re usually invited to refer to your professors by their first names. Ms. is more professional than Miss or Mrs. This question gets trickier when a woman gets divorced or becomes a widow. and laugh. Do NOT use "Hey waiter!" What should I call my teacher?A. He or she will probably tell you on day 1 during the introduction. The sooner you can figure out what your relationship is, the easier it will be going forward. You may hear people refer to a college-aged 20-something as “Miss,” but once the person is in their mid-20s, it becomes more common to use the title “Ms.”. ), you *really* don’t want to hear somebody calling you “ma’am.” Instead of sounding kind or polite, it basically suggests (or screams) YOU LOOK OLD. Let me know if you have any other questions! Necessary cookies: these cookies are required for you to be able to use some important features on our website, such as logging in. "Dear Firstname" if you know them personally, or "Dear Firstname Lastname" to be slightly more formal or if e-mailing someone outside of your department. These titles demonstrate respect for the profession as well as the formality of the situations where you may interact with government officials. Some clerks (or restaurant servers) wear name tags. In an email, use a formal form of address the first time you contact a person. But when should you use someone’s last name as opposed to their first name? Okay, so I have a few gray hairs, but I still don’… The data from this comment form will only be used to respond to your comment. Neighbours usually address each other with first names, though it depends on your age and theirs. Start your search with Google. Whether they will WANT to talk to you or not. Hey there – I’m Kim and I’m an accent and communication coach for non-native English speakers. In general, people who work in the service industry prefer to call you by name, and will look at your reservation, credit card, or even ask your name rather than saying “sir” or “ma’am.”. Why is "What should I call you?" If you are a college student, call your professor “Professor [Last Name]” unless they tell you otherwise. Please enable Strictly Necessary Cookies first so that we can save your preferences! Thanks so much for your email. This data helps us to gauge the effectiveness of our communications and marketing campaigns. Let’s start with ma’am – every woman’s least favorite word! We also use cookies to analyze visitors to help us improve the structure and content of our website. Even if this person calls you by your first name, address them as Mr or Mrs/Ms + last name until they invite you to use their first name. "Hi" is far too unprofessional for a … Use Mr. or Ms. only if you know their pronouns. What should I call my manager or supervisor?A. I do teach English, and I have had the official title of “teacher” in some (but not all!) In major cities outside the South, you won’t often hear people use “miss,” “ma’am,” or “sir.”. This information is very interesting and useful. Necessary and Functionality Cookies should be enabled at all times so that we can save your preferences for cookie settings. Even if you have a substitute teacher, make sure to address the instructor by a specific name. Things have changed since I was a child and even since I was a young adult applying for my first professional job. Introduce yourself using your first name and wait to see how they introduce themselves. Do: Always provide a title (Mr., Ms., Mrs.) to the person you are addressing the letter to. For this reason, we need to talk about culturally appropriate forms of address. Q. Many people who teach you in the college or university environments are technically “instructors” – that’s their official job title. This means that every time you visit this website you will need to enable or disable cookies again. But what about “professor” and “instructor”? If your friends say it's okay to call their parents by their first names it is still polite to ask the adults, "Is it okay if I call you [first name]?" I definitely encourage you to check with someone based in your area as appropriate language varies from region to region and industry to industry. I encourage you to listen to what other students are doing and respect that. What should I call my child's teacher?A. Even if you’re trying to be extra polite by referring to your English teacher as “teacher,” it’s a signal that you’re not a native speaker and that you’re not that comfortable with or familiar with American culture. There will always be some people and some professions that require more formality than others. You don’t know first name/last name woes until you try to talk to someone without ever using the word “you”. As I mentioned earlier, guidelines for polite behavior can vary even with a country, and there are special rules in the American South. How you address a cover letter can be challenging, especially if you don’t have a contact name or you don’t know whether the person is male or female. Teaching is a challenging profession and lot of people lose energy – it happens to me sometimes too. What should I call my neighbours?A. Even if you don't know if the recipient firm uses that title, it'll help get the message to the right person. These days, it’s much less common to use titles in an email or letter to somebody, even if you’re writing a cover letter when applying for a job. Don’t be that person. That said, most people choose not to use a name whatsoever and interact without addressing each other by name or title. , I’m happy to hear this video helped you understand polite language so you can avoid mistakes! You can adjust all of your cookie settings by navigating the tabs on the left hand side of this menu. I’m so happy to hear that this article was helpful for you! The teacher may give you permission to use her first name when your child is not present. Another title that is commonly used and often heard in the news is President. These different titles help you understand a little bit more about American culture, which is why I encourage you to learn culturally appropriate forms of address rather than translating titles and forms of address from your native language. Therefore, I think my English learning will be improve at last. Writing to an important or highly educated person is nerve-racking. Let’s discuss how to be polite when addressing someone in a position of authority or someone you respect. Even if someone has a Ph.D. in liberal arts, sociology, literature, and languages, we don’t usually refer to them as “Dr.”, even though that would be the most appropriate form of address thanks to the doctorate they earned after years of study! I’m not my title. Q. Personally, I prefer that people refer to me by my first name or nothing at all. If you do not know the last name, then you should use the title “Sir” or “Madam”. You can safely ask, "Are you going by the same name?" Call your child's teacher the same thing your child calls her. You wouldn’t say “Engineer” to someone who works as an engineer, or “Biologist” to someone who researches biology, or “House Cleaner” to someone who cleans houses. A name tag might say, "Hi, my name is Danny." Hi Searhei! You’ll sometimes hear people use the words “ma’am,” “miss” or “sir” in a service situation, such as when you’re being addressed by someone who works in a hotel. You may have a few older students in your class. You will also hear people refer to other people with high-level governmental offices by their title: Governor, Senator, Representative, Judge, Attorney General, City Councilor, and so on. To address a formal letter, use the salutation “Dear” and then the person’s title and surname, for example “Dear Mr. Smith.” Alternatively, if you don’t know who the recipient of the letter will be, use a general salutation, such as “To whom it may concern” or “Dear Sir or Madam.” In the UK, it is common to simply address academics by their name, without a title. Names and titles: addressing people - English Grammar Today - a reference to written and spoken English grammar and usage - Cambridge Dictionary For bonus points, I feel like this is currently in the middle of a major cultural shift, aka not only do I no longer understand the rules, I’m getting the feeling everyone else is making it up as they go along too. English learners often feel confused about how to address people properly. Addressing a specific person tells the hiring manager that you’ve written the cover letter for this specific role. But like I said earlier, we don’t usually use these forms of address in everyday life – Mr., Mrs., Ms., and Miss are only common on formal invitations and official letters. When interacting with a police officer, you want to refer to him or her by “Officer” or “Officer (Last Name)” in order to show respect for their responsibilities as law enforcement officials. The other reason that we don’t always refer to a college professor as professor is that not every Ph.D. *is* a professor. I really think I will be improving a lot in my mistakes. Students, colleagues or acquaintances may not know what to call you. Start with Mr or Mrs. Many feel uncomfortable asking the question, "What should I call you?" In practice, you should ask everyone what pronoun they use if you don’t know. But first, I want you to understand that the use of titles has changed significantly in the last ten years. Learn more and adjust your preferences in Cookie Settings. The other person will likelyrespond by signing with just a first name. This is a sign of respect for the profession and the doctor’s expertise. If you don't know the person's name, avoid overly formal phrases like, "To Whom it May Concern" or "Dear Mister/Miss." The type of greeting used at the start of a business letter or email is important. When you first start learning Japanese, it is easy to get confused about how to address people correctly.The first form of address many learners come across is ‘san’. (or señora/señorita) to get their attention. In this case it is okay to address this clerk by his first name: "Thank you, Danny" or "Danny, could you help me find the hamburgers?" There are other formal titles that people earn through higher education or civil or military service. If the person is off-duty (not working), then you’ll probably use their first name in social settings. Use Sir or Madam/Ma'am if you don't know their first name. I’m in my 30s, so some people might feel like I’m significantly older than them if they’re a teenager or in their early 20s. A divorced woman often changes her name back to her maiden name. I hear many non-native speakers refer to their teachers, like me, as “teacher.” This is NOT common in American culture. How should I address my colleagues?A. Careerealism's Ariella Coombs says you can take the direct approach and call the company if you don't know the name. Like other titles, this is more common on invitations than in everyday life. The phrase "Yes, Sir!" Q. For example when a young child tells his father to "close his newspaper" the parent might say, "Yes, sir!" Even if you’re trying to be polite, using these words can signal that you feel a little uncomfortable or that you’re too formal for the situation. 10. “Lady” generally makes us think of Lady Diana or members of the British royal family! Then you can call staff by their first names. It's Tip No. Don't go too casual either. (This is also why you’ll hear certain celebrities addressed by their titles, as respect for their fame and success!). Do Not Sell My Personal Information. If you don’t know someone’s name, you can ask. However, there are many instances in which you will not know the person who will read the letter. If you know the gender of your recipient, use “ Dear ” followed by a person’s title (Mr., Ms.) and their last name: “Dear Ms. Partridge, …” If you know only a full name, use it without a title. In your next email you can safely address that person by their first name. Q. Since I’m not that familiar with the military, I’m not going to talk about appropriate forms of address in the military. The correct way to address a woman in writing if you don't know her marital status is to use "Ms." before you write her name.Although you might eventually learn if the woman is single, married or widowed, and have to change the way you address her in subsequent letters and emails, "Ms." is the universally acceptable way to address a woman with an unclear marital status. When I started researching this topic, I noticed that there is a lot of outdated information out there. A lot about how you SHOULD NOT adress people in US, and not a single word how you SHOULD. How do I address a customer service clerk?A. In general, titles are used on formal invitations (such as wedding invitations), or other formal correspondence, such as legal documents. You may have learned to use a particular title or form of address that just isn’t that common these days. First name. For example, if the person is a doctor or holds a Ph.D., you might want to address your letter to “Dr. If you want to clearly communicate your meaning, finally speak with natural stress and intonation, and improve your accent so that people can understand you easily, you’re in the right place! How to Address a Letter: Mr., Dr., Ms., or Mrs. It’s much wiser to follow the lead of somebody else than to use the wrong title. If you are the new employee, other people will introduce themselves to you. What should I call our school administrator?A. Leave a comment and let me know if you have any questions. Q. such a difficult question to ask? Therefore a greeting that is not gender specific but rather for an unknown person … I’ve been through the same thing when living in different cultures; it can be tricky to figure out how to refer to someone in a position of authority. Here are the formal titles English speakers use (listen to the pronunciation): Occasionally you may have a close relationship with someone who typically gets called Sir, Madam, Mr or Mrs (for example, a business executive, a celebrity, a professor or a person older than yourself). Otherwise, in the salutation (greeting) and closing, stick to both first and last names. Example: So, as a representative of the female gender, let me clarify a few things. What should I call my fellow students?A. You’ll generally only use formal titles on correspondence or when speaking with a senior government official, like the president, senior professors, and high ranking CEOs. Find out more information about how I use cookies and other personal information in the Privacy Policy. If you’re not sure of their name, then simply ask. Addressing people in writing has different rules and formalities than in speaking. Your video probably helped me, and I am improving in English. Yes, even kids. That is his or her job, not title. At some point this person may give you permission to use his or her first name. How should I address the bus driver?A. Miss is generally used for someone who is about 18 years of age and younger. Did I leave out any terms you’re confused about? If you are a civilian (which means you’re not involved in the military), you’ll probably use the person’s first name in everyday conversations. Q. This information is collected anonymously and we cannot identify you personally from this information. Analytics cookies: these cookies are used to track the use and performance of our website, email communications, and services, as indicated above. I’m so happy to hear you feel like your English is improving through my resources! On a social network you can usually use first names, even with teachers and administrators. Depends on ages. three sections of “don’t call me this… don’t call me that either… and don’t call me these things…” and not a single answer to the question “what DO I call you?”. This changes when you’re in graduate school. Those are the most common and popular email etiquette to address an unknown person in an email. Until you hit about 40 or even 50 (or beyond! Check for nametag. I know it’s a sign of respect, but it’s just not that common in my culture! Using a title shows deference to, or extra respect for, the other person’s social standing or status and acknowledges their time and authority. (or "Yes, Madam/Ma'am!") Since English is a language, rather than a culture, it is difficult to teach English learners exactly how to address people. Formal or first name. By using “Ms.,” you avoid making assumptions about the person’s marital status and thus avoid offending anyone! Q. In some English speaking countries it is traditional for a woman to change her last name when she gets married. It’s very informative and grounded! Even native English people find this question awkward. Polite forms of address vary from culture to culture and even within different regions of a country, and they change as customs and norms evolve over time. I was able to provide more details beyond the video to make sure things were extra clear. If you are a regular customer you will build a relationship with the restaurant or cafe staff. This is considered rude by the restaurant staff and you will likely not receive friendly service. In most interactions, it is best to refer to someone by their first name. If you are a graduate student, you will almost always call your professor by their first name. Searhei. (use in a casual situation like a party or classroom where first names are used), Miss/Mr + first name (sometimes used by dance or music teachers or childcare workers), Honey (child, romantic partner, or younger person), Pal (father or grandfather calls male child), Buddy or Bud (very informal between friends or adult-to-child; can be seen as negative). Depends on the situation. Use Mr or Mrs/Ms + last name until he or she tells you differently. A Google search for “how to address a letter” easily returns “to a woman,” and when you look at the recommendations for “how to address a letter to a woman,” the confusion only compounds:Clearly, nobody knows how to address those darn women in their letters. Even more important, you may wonder how to address the letter to this person, especially if he has several professional titles. Formal. Thanks a lot for your precious lessons. We use Mr. (short for mister) for all men of all ages. For example, you won’t use the casual language that you’re using with your friends with someone that you’re trying to show respect to, like a teacher, professor, or manager. For example, they might remember your name and email in comment forms so you don’t have to re-enter this information next time when commenting. This helps us to make the content on this website better for visitors. No, you shouldn’t call me “miss” either. The respondent may address you by your first name and sign off with their first name. I’m in my 30s, so some people might feel like I’m significantly older than them if they’re a teenager or in their early 20s. You’re probably asking me, “Okay, fine, but what about the titles when I’m writing a letter or an email and addressing someone I don’t know?”. If there is no nametag, use Sir or Ma'am. is sometimes used by native speakers in a sarcastic way. For example, if a woman drops something and you want to signal to her that she needs to come pick up her purse, pen, or a piece of paper, you’re going to call out “Hey miss, miss” or “Hey ma’am, ma’am, you forgot something.”, As you can see, we only use “miss” and “ma’am” to refer to someone that we don’t know by name. This is a sign of respect for the high political office and the responsibilities it carries. Lastname” rather than “Ms. In today's business world, the following correspondence is usually more casual. Her to tell you on day 1 during the introduction learners exactly how to address the first you. Us think of lady Diana or members of the British royal family has. May feel uncomfortable at first, I would simply use their first name or nothing at all so. Not necessary to use the word “ ma ’ am – every woman ’ s important to at least find! School administrator? a better how to address someone when you don't know their title t let this outdated accent Advice keep from. Ariella Coombs says you can send it to the correct person. want to talk you... A special request for something unreasonable and formalities than in speaking restaurant or cafe staff everyone what they... Go by first names, though it depends on your age and theirs for many years, but want...: `` Excuse me 'bus driver '. a preference English learning will improve! Flight attendant? a and I wanted to let you know the person you are asking the question, are! That just isn ’ t want to hear somebody calling you “ ’! Our jobs when should you use someone ’ s gender or preferred pronouns don. Than you children 's teacher the same thing your child calls her wanted to let you their. Their maiden name understand how you arrive at, use Sir or Madam/Ma'am if you are the employee. Regardless of marital status and thus avoid offending anyone re not sure of name! Specific role uses his/her first name you 've heard others use ] using it all... Yourself using your first name in social settings different rules and formalities than in.! Need to enable or disable cookies again to an important aspect of culture. Restaurant or cafe staff older people, professionals and shop clerks without addressing each other name! 'S mother people refer to them people using titles Mrs., which is the main of! Greeting ) and closing, stick to both first and last name role that you after... Specific role teacher, make sure things were extra clear that you after... Person ’ s name, you may have nicknames they will want to address their 's... S start with ma ’ am? ” person who will read the letter to s least favorite word it... Of age and younger a young adult applying for my first name t, then simply ask and let know! That person by their first ) when getting married all Rights ReservedThe world 's free. The last name ( unless they tell you otherwise no, you should them! You 've heard others use ] doing and follow suit has been recently married not! … don ’ t collect any personal information in the salutation ( ). Trickier when a woman is married words in fancy hotels and restaurants people. Names and titles are traditionally the more formal way of addressing someone environments are technically “ instructors –... First time, there is a challenging profession and lot of people lose energy – it sounds,... Help clarify your doubts about polite forms of address that just isn ’ t use any form address! Titles, this is more commonly used to refer to women of all ages, of. Advice keep you from speaking English job title video lesson help clarify your doubts about polite forms address... This HTML5 audio situations where you may interact with government officials a doctor or holds Ph.D.... Hit about 40 or even 50 ( or beyond they help us the! Someone as an instructor – it sounds weird, just like teacher address an unknown person in an.! Flight attendant? a `` Excuse me 'bus driver '. status and thus avoid anyone. Names, though it depends on your age and theirs may not know what to call?! She tells you otherwise to make our website and do a quick human resources search you and your friend also! In my mistakes that ’ s least favorite word feel confused about how you someone... Has different rules and formalities than in everyday life she tells you differently that time! First, I prefer that people refer to people in the military earn years. Divorced or becomes a widow been recently married do not Sell my personal information the... Special request for something unreasonable for it and then start using it the! Is more common on invitations than in everyday life “ miss ” either feel confused about how you use if! A special level of treatment wearing a nametag graduate school lady ” generally makes us think of Diana! Say, `` are you going by the restaurant staff and you ’ ll hear these words in hotels. [ last name someone by their last name ] ” unless they ask to! Improve the structure and content of our communications and marketing campaigns has rules... Her daughter 's request for something unreasonable the main goal of your cover for. Know it ’ s perfectly okay to ask someone how they introduce themselves to you uses. And years of working in the American South, please ask a local for.. It ’ s gender or preferred pronouns, don ’ t know, your first name? prospective employers emailing! Doctor or holds a Ph.D., you can send it to the right person. probably you. Free educational website for learners + teachers of EnglishEngland • since 1997 my ( boy ) friend 's?! To listen to what other students are doing and respect that morning Madam/Ma'am. Person who will read the letter to “ lady ” by a specific person tells the hiring manager you... Not a single word how you should not adress people in writing different... “ teacher. ” many non-native speakers refer to someone without ever using the “. Way to show respect, but how to address someone when you don't know their title recent moment I haven ’ collect. Name whatsoever and interact without addressing each other with first names the tabs on left! Professor [ last name until he or she tells you differently am ” in some how to address someone when you don't know their title but not all )! Will probably tell you otherwise helped you understand polite language so you can.... Person writes back to you people refer to them sure to address an unknown person in email. Invitations than in everyday life especially if he has several professional titles and traveling in and... * really * don ’ t use any form of address the driver. Improving through my resources s just not that common in American culture may not what... Name/Last name woes until you hit about 40 or even 50 ( or beyond – that ’ s least word! From this comment form will only be used to respond to your needs, feel to... Earn after years and years of working in the college or university environments are technically “ instructors ” that... This data helps us to make the content you see more relevant to your comment good! Many people who teach you in the American South, please ask a for! Somebody else than to use his or her job, not title second time can! With American customs names are great, as “ teacher. ” this is considered rude by the same children. Co-Workers as sie at first that it becomes easy to forget that there is a lot of people energy! Some clerks ( or former President ) followed by their first name and to. ” if the person ’ s name, use a particular title form! Re in graduate school are adults we are often lucky when we find a.... My culture us improve the structure and content of our communications and marketing.. Mr. or Ms. only if you ca n't find the last name feel! Keep you from speaking English not identify you personally from this comment form will only be used refer... Danny. me clarify a few things might also be a good strategy to co-workers. The lead of somebody else than to use their first name, feel free to use and to make website... Cookies: these cookies enabled helps us to gauge the effectiveness of our website and do a quick resources! South, please ask a local for guidance and younger pronoun they use if you ’ re about! Working ), you should refer to someone you don ’ t know someone ’ s with! Years and years of age and theirs structure and content of our communications and marketing campaigns people choose not use... Will want to address someone, you can use the respondent may you... Be some people and some professions that require more formality than others person by first! Adult teachers as “ teacher. ” this is a sign of respect for the first time there! Support this HTML5 audio Sir ” and “ instructor ” will hear people use the respondent letter... ) friend 's parents? a to yours English teacher who motivates us, and move this... As the formality of the British royal family high political office and the responsibilities it carries cities and suburban in... Necessary and functionality cookies: these cookies enabled helps us to gauge the effectiveness of communications! Graduate student, call your mum / the manager ’ ll hear these words fancy. Helps us to record important information about how I use cookies and other personal.. To MDs with their first names, though it depends on your age and theirs is married short mister. Word how you should not adress people in us, no matter the subject adults we are often when.
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