Sign in . Sometimes, not fitting into society would make you feel like you’re not good enough. Deep thinkers. I may as well describe myself. It won't be possible for everyone, but if it's an option, seek out a group of like-minded people. You would have to compromise your ideals to ensure that you and the society have both ends meet. The mainstream herd becomes a majority and will marginalize anyone who does not fit into that group who then feel ostracized and abnormal. Mostly, though, it's that I realize I'm not living a life in full alignment with my truth. I was a tomboy growing up. Having different hair colors? It might be due to my conservative, Pentecostal upbringing, or possibly because while my friends were praying-through, playing sports, or working on figuring out the fairer sex, I was oblivious to reality. Sounds dramatic, doesn't it? There is an imaginary template that we all somehow have to fit to succeed in this new world we live in. They don't fit the mold that society has given us. For some people, splitting into two selves is simply a choice they make. A large portion of people who don’t fit in are highly sensitive to the emotional climate of people and environments. I have a Master of Social Work (MSW) degree, and a B.A. Others feel more forced into it, because their 'real' self would be too misunderstood and rejected otherwise. Sadly, the society we live in is giving more and more importance to primitive instincts … 1 decade ago. This can … I don't fit into society because my brain can't keep up with the social dynamism of others. I don't worry about society much. It seems like community cases have magically disappeared again. If one of their co-workers ran into them on the weekend, they may not even recognize them. I feel like I have a giant rock in my brain that isn't supposed to be there that is preventing me from living life. krispykritter. I wanted to focus on how society does this and why we feel the need to fit into it. It's also one thing to consciously choose to be pragmatic and superficially go along with social norms in order to get something you want. I can't relate to, and I was born and raised in the U.S. You see, your personality is so unique that they can’t fit you into a neat and tidy box. Update: I don't even fit in at Church. What can you do if your problem is that you don't fit in? Hello, I really hope you liked this video, let me know in the comments what your opinion on that. Social situations are exhausting, and the older I get, the less energy I have to pretend otherwise. Let me also know what kind of videos you want to see on my channel. Plus, saying hello to a stranger is like showing up with a Christmas gift when I had no idea we were exchanging gifts and I didn’t get you anyway. There's no way I can control the outside world or solve everyone's problems for them, but here are my thoughts. Everything I do to try to get better never works. Why Ah Beng threw butter out of the window? That's not the answer though. Answer Save. It's one thing to have actual weaknesses in your social skills, which people are giving you legitimate criticism and feedback about. Those who don’t fit into society sometimes debate whether or not they should try to fit in or don’t bother at all. Being in different sororities? Relevance. We know what i… There are many reasons why some people feel that they are not fitting into society. Showering in the Morning vs Evening: Which is Better? 1 decade ago. They don’t see themselves as an individual that is accepted in society so they hide away. I’ve always felt the pressure to fit in. I’d say I’m successful in terms of my academics and job. There’s always been a gap between what I want to be and what I think the world thinks I should be. I can put on the extrovert mask as easily as any other introvert, but wearing the mask is much more draining than just being myself. Being someone who can’t fit into society doesn’t mean that you’re “weird”, just different. People can be physically assaulted, black balled from their community, have their property vandalized, or have their family members threatened and harassed. And with humans being social creatures, human interaction is an essential part of living. Though I'm also a therapist and can offer in-depth, personalized help. Another is being too shy or insecure around other people. In that way, society might not agree or be in line with the things that you do, but they will at least allow you to be a part of them. They often ask themselves if it’s more important what other people think about them, or what they feel about themselves at the end of the day. 4 Answers. People who don’t fit into society often feel like they’re missing out on the things that other people in society get to experience. I have never been to a party in my life - mainly because I haven't been invited, but I wouldn't go to one if I was. Sometimes it's that I don't really fit with the people around me. I often don't feel very female-like at all. They Feel Like The Entire World Is Against Them. I find shared experiences when I speak with people who know what it is like to feel different—people with disabilities, migrants, creative people, gay people, introverts, recovering addicts, and many others.Though we don’t share those particular characteristics, our mutual understanding of what it is like to be different connects us, powerfully.We know what it is like to be judged because of who we are. That's how I look at it. Stop caring about rest of the people. 1 decade ago. At work they'll follow the dress code, and avoid saying anything too controversial. A society with its standards, expectations and societal norms is exactly what makes life harder for those who can’t fit into society. I have a nice job lined up. I get good grades and go to a top college. 2.2K views We don't really know who we are because of how much society has impacted us. You Haven't Found "Your People" If you feel like a stranger at work, or live on the periphery of your … Don’t-have-to-explain-myself and can’t-explain-myself are entirely different concepts.Don’t-have-to is a defense mechanism for can’t.People do incredibly crappy things to each other and revel in the fact that technically there’s no explanation necessary. I was shy, awkward, and lonely until my mid-twenties and created this site to be the kind of guide I wish I'd had at the time. We as college students live in a world that tells us being different is okay, but doesn't give us the definition of "different". This is one of the classic solutions, used by people who were raised in stifling small towns the world over. And it's like I'm lost somewhere else because I'm nothing like that. I wish the human race were smarter as a whole, but I can't change it. Like in the example above, on the mild side all that may happen is someone gets some friendly teasing about it, or boring lectures from their mom. Whatever it is, when you’re not part of society, you’re definitely going to feel like something is missing from your life. Being “different” means that you’re going to be looked at differently, spoken to differently and treated differently. Because they’re “different”, they feel as though it’s … It's like I'm completely different from everyone else. However, that, in turn, can make them fall into a state of depression. 21F- I don’t feel like I fit into society. They don’t need a large circle of friends, just one or two would do. You can sign in to vote the answer. I don't know what it must be like from a male perspective, but even women have the same complexities. Because no one is there for them, they have to face everything on their own and it can be a great burden to carry. Those situations are different. Misfits don’t even have to say a word for the other person to … Why I Don’t Fit Into Society. The other extreme isn't anything to joke about. April 28, 2014 By admin. With no one else who is just like them, they long for sincere companionship sometimes. But I’m just not satisfied with myself. Please do not copy, reproduce, or translate any articles without permission. Here’s what it’s like being someone who feels like he is not fitting into society. It's when you don't fit into the social norm, and that's what's causing you problems. A free guide to getting past social awkwardness, Having different interests and priorities than most of the people around you (for some reason, the example that always comes to mind for me is someone living up in a U.S. town where the entire population seems obsessed with high school or college sports, while they couldn't be any less interested), Having different beliefs or values than everyone around you (e.g., being the only artsy hippy in a closed-minded town, being the only conservative religious person in a dorm full of people who love drinking and partying), Just being the odd person out who gets picked on (e.g., being the 'weird' guy at your job), Being part of a legitimately marginalized group, like being gay in a more intolerant part of the country, The proven way to get past boring small talk, Instantly beat self-consciousness with the, Busting the myth that you have to get a "more interesting life" to be interesting. I'm trained as a counselor. I live in it, and have to work in it (which S U C K S), but the fact that I don't fit in is a testament to our current society. In other words, you might not fit in but they can at least be tolerant. They can cut through the noise, right through to the heart of the matter — and this puts people off. Will I ever fit into society? Be bold enough to live life on your … My social skills are too poor and my brain just won't let me function around others. Society is validating what a person should and should not look like, what the definition of beauty is, that happiness is when you are successful, that you will only be liked if you’re ‘normal’, so on and so forth. I'm Chris Macleod. “You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. I function in society because in the end, once you're an adult, you have to, but I love to travel and that is what keeps me sane. A third general problem area is a little different. Another is being too shy or insecure around other people. The rest of the time, they are generally excluded and ignored, because who they represent doesn’t fit into the jigsaw of a community. Is different being a hipster? The first thing you can do is making some close friends with whom you feel 'yourself'. But in general, I really, really hope he's right, and that Muslims don't fit into British society at all well. It's when you don't fit into the social norm, and that's what's causing you problems. If the situation you're in seems bad enough, and you don't see it getting better any time soon, then it may be the right call to move somewhere else. The consequences can differ too. Answer Save. There’s always a standard that society sets and they feel like they can’t reach those standards. Maybe there's a particular bar in your town that caters to your subculture, or a monthly meet up that's organized online, or an obscure club at your university you could join. Sometimes it's that I feel like the oddball of the group. Confusing not having to justify our actions with being unable to justify our actions. Maybe you can leave fairly soon, or you might have to hunker down for a while. Think of the young clean cut office worker who goes to hardcore punk shows every Saturday. There's a lot you can do to improve your social skills on your own - I wouldn't have made this site if I thought otherwise. If you're getting hassled for not fitting in, then the implicit message you're receiving from other people is that you're faulty as you are, and that everything would be better if you just become more like everyone else. Favourite answer. Anonymous. I'm shy, quiet, bit socially awkward. I don’t see myself lasting for awhile. Now that I am a little older, I am fine feeling I don't really fit into society. I don't fit into the society of my age? Just not conventional like that, I like to explore and discover things. Shutterstock 1. It’s time that society needs to start accepting as well as respecting those individuals as just “different” and not weird so that they may be able to embrace and accept their own individuality. Anonymous. Because they’re “different”, they feel as though it’s a curse and often, the world makes them believe so. Not the earth or the universe. You know, don't stick to the trodden path in life ie: 9-5 office job with a husband and 2.5 kids, don't stick to the path in the wild either, ma bad! And society is created by us “normal” people. cos society sucks. I am really unhappy because I don't fit in anywhere and I despair at our society. So you are not alone in feeling that you don't fit into society. I don't fit into society either why should we all be the same don't fit in stand out and keep your head high focus on your school work, just remember that if you succeed all these losers who are mean will be working for you someday, 0 0. Finding your tribe is more important than ‘fitting in’ Honestly, if you have to change yourself to fit in … I've been writing about social skills for over ten years. A third general problem area is a little different. Especially when you're younger, you can't choose where you live, and where you were raised may not be a good fit for you. The ideas in this similar article may also be helpful too: Getting Away With Doing Your Own Thing Socially. in Psychology. People in certain subcultures, or who have particular philosophies towards life, find they have to do this. It is hard when you feel you should live up to society's expectations. Don’t tell me hello if you don’t know me, because I’m going somewhere, I’m on my way to a task, and you’re holding me up. Lacking specific interpersonal skills is one broad type of social problem. Those who don’t conform are also more likely to look within for answers because the external answers are fabrications, lies or are unacceptable. Also by Mark Woods. The mentality of so many people in the U.S. ¨You shouldn't wear high heels because you're already really tall, you're going to make everyone else look so short. They act bad and stuff. People who go this route also tend to develop subtle little ways of finding each other. There are times when people who can’t fit into society choose to not be part of it because they’re misunderstood for having different ideals. ), When You Exercise & Eat at the Same Time #shorts, In 2020, There Were 82 HDB Flats That Were Resold For Over $1 Million, 42 COVID-19 Cases Today (10 Jan); All Are Imported, Body Parts Found At Sriwijaya Air Crash Site; Authorities Focusing on Search & Rescue, Woman Divorces Husband Coz Husband Bought Bra That Were Too Small For Her, The Reason Why Nurses Don’t Wear Gloves When Giving COVID-19 Vaccine Explained. Everyone I see dress like gangsters or rappers and just focus on girls and stuff. “Don’t change so people will like you; be yourself and the right people will love you.” ~Unknown . For example, someone may mostly be similar to their social circle, but get condescending little comments for one opinion they hold. Relevance. Another more mild consequence for someone may be that many people don't want to be friends with them, and just politely ignore them, which they're fine with. If someone just varies from the mainstream in a harmless way, they shouldn't have to give in to the masses. This is intimidating for some people as they don’t know what to do when they’re around you. These days, if you see someone in a shopping mall who is bare-faced, you'd look at them as if... How to Use “Ok Boomer” in an Office #shorts. That will make anyone feel like they’re an outcast and there’s definitely nothing wonderful about feeling like one. 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