Have a nice life." This text is excellent because you are making him or her feel guilty about ghosting you. . To read all future answers to your comment, please bookmark this page. Reply. Grab a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and youll be ready to win any argument. Privacy Policy. Voltaire (philosopher), "As you get older, three things happen. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. How impressive! Were already married, remember?! This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. 75. If you want me to accept you as you are, Im going to have to lie to myself about liking you. In the past, one way to send messages was to attach them to a pigeon. In reality, they are not cool, they are just rude. He's jokingly texting if you're ok. 10. So, ditch the mechanical responses and adopt the witty and fun replies to keep the conversations exciting! 11. Oh, what a long list. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. 1. Before you complain about anything, be thankful for your life and the things that are still going well.". 30. 9. If you're really feeling them, you can give them one last chance to make up for their communication lag. Socioeconomically? Theres only one problem with your face: I can see it. 95. (Say it like he or she is complimenting you even though he or she is not.) If they take several days to talk to you again, thats a sign that either they dont want to talk to you, or, they were so dirty that its taken them that song to shower. Pick your struggle. If you're stuck in a cycle with your ex of being on and off again, but you know it's not going to work out, don't respond. Maybe because I clap my hands when the credits roll at the end of a movie? Well, I'm old enough to beat you in a marathon. We all grow up as we get older. I am doing wellor that could be my anti-depressants speaking. 3. Are you Jamaican? Does the new one work any better? Humans are sophisticated beings, but we are also creatures of habit who say one thing while we mean something else. Looks like I overestimated the number of brain cells you have. Acting like a prick doesnt make yours grow bigger. Truth is, we all have ugly experiences with our past lovers. That's boyfriend material. "All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage." Lord Byron (poet) The next time the cat gets your tongue, heres a big list of good, witty, nasty, funny sarcastic and clever comebacks for every conversation, no matter where you are! Here's the good news: I've collected plenty of answer options for you to make that unbearably awkward question a little more bearable. But, compared to messaging, pigeons are much slower. Every civilisation has its genesis and its conclusion. Some of the best, wittiest, and most humorous quotations in the English language are quotations about age, childhood, adolescence, middle age, and old age most of all, about growing old! The answer to this question has become so generic it feels like there is an auto-complete machine in our heads! 93. Mentally? 3. Which just make the unexpected moments of levity all the more hilarious. Happy, and I know it. Instead of listening to your opinion, how about I put on some cartoons for you, and get you a juice box? provided, of course, that he really is dead." This one is a bit depressing, which is why you should watch when you use it. To answer that question, I need to take you back about 12 years. Norman Wisdom (comedian), "I have lost friends, some by death, others through their sheer inability to cross the street." Moving in with Roommates? I mean, no matter how amazing our lives are, there's always something to complain about. At least my hair looks amazing. 98. Nowadays, potential mates need money. Things can't get much better and you want the world to know. The only thing offending me right now is your face. If your crush asks you how you are, you might as well be honest. If you've been stuck inside doing chores and homework all day, and your parents ask you how you are, what response do they expect? My blood pressure this is an all-time classic, not the best but had to be said. How do you want me to be? Follow for more funny content!! He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. With a self-assured stance and casual body language, you won't create any . Plotting how Im going to take over the world. Sometimes, being emotional stops us from replying to the messages of others. I wrote him a cheque for it, post-dated of course. Chic Murray (comedian), When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. Ayn Rand (author), The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesnt get worse every time congress meets. Will Rogers (actor), "My grandmother was a very tough woman. No one loves superheroes. Oh, a thought crossed your mind? 32. I thought you already knew you were a sociopath. 43. 14. All our lives, we were taught to follow our passion. 3. Wait, are you my Superman/Wonder Woman? and our Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. If they are not going to reply, perhaps the archaeologists who discover their phone will. Hanging on. If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. 100. 92. Photo by Glenna Rankin on reshot 02 "It has been a while since I've heard from you, and at this point, I'm over it." We found the best coronavirus memes about social distancing, toilet paper, homeschooling, as well as ways to spread a little more kindness. Living a life of suppressed rage, emotional imbalance, and denial. As a result, they were so fixated on thinking about you, they forgot to reply to you. Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. As for me, I cant even afford honey! Susan Winter, relationship expert, and bestselling author, This article was originally published on Dec. 15, 2020. If you're brain-dead, you're dead. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. Im too fine for the ugly, yet too ugly for the fine. Well, Im married to our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. My grandfather had a ton of these. But if youre getting fed up with always being asked the same questions, you shouldnt feel bad about giving a funny or witty reply. Hi! Now you can be! "It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.". 19. Do you like nature, despite what it did to you? Definitely will catch your casual convo counterpart off guard and will probably bring a chuckle. Its more likely that theyre just being a bad friend. I hate looking at my life and seeing that some of the people that are most important to me aren't here anymore! This is a good response to throw out there. You dont need to say it. 2. This one is good. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. How much are you willing you pay me if I tell you? Some people spend all their time on their phone. 97. [Read: 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor]. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. But, because they have taken so long to reply, you have grown older and wiser. I am high-quality, 100% plant-fed. I dont know. Lets just say if I was a Pokmon, my ability would be Oblivious., Listen, that feeling we call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. Use the opportunity to make a good impression. I was doing great, before you came. What's your sign? original sound - Tyren Sams. That's impossible. Thomas Andrew Lehrer (/ l r r /; born April 9, 1928) is an American musician, singer-songwriter, satirist, and mathematician, who later taught mathematics and musical theater.He recorded pithy and humorous songs that became popular in the 1950s and 1960s. This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. 15. I am really just trying hard to avoid ambiguous questions at this moment. A truly stinging sarcastic response to I love you. Theyre incapacitated when it comes to sending a simple text, yet they can Insta their whole day. Could be payday. Also you texted very late; I would think one of my friends were joking or drunk since it's near Halloween. The answer is simple. The way youre acting vs reality creates a juxtaposition that highlights their slowness. Haha use this humorous response to make someone laugh-you never know, you just might brighten their day. Its too small to be out there all alone. - Anonymous. I've Been Thinking About You Too They might not be with you right now, but they will always be on your mind. Check out the following infographic for some practical tips to maintain a conversation and take it forward.SaveIllustration: StyleCraze Design Team. My only talent is not being in a relationship. It's definitely a better reply than the standard, "I'm fine.". Id rather have a doughnut on my finger than a real ring. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Through humorous musings about Scalia's . The fact youve replied at all has come as a shock. April 6, 2018 There's nothing funny about being in a courtroom. As anyone who knows anything about human biology will know, when a woman misses her period, that is a sign she is pregnant.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,100],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_13',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0'); Therefore, if she were to rely on your messages for her period, she would be pregnant by now. The living are getting rarer. Eugene Lonesco (playwright), Dying is easy; its living that scares me to death. Annie Lennox (musician), If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button. Sam Levenson (humorist), Ive looked that old scoundrel death in the eyes many times but this time I think he has me on the ropes. Douglas MacArthur (general), Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. Wilson Mizner (playwright), The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers. Demetri Martin (comedian), I intend to live forever or die trying. Groucho Marx (comedian), Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. William Somerset Maugham (author), The art of dying graciously is nowhere advertised in spite of the fact that its market potential is great. Milton Mayer (author), At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. Elon Musk targets Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep forgetting that you're still alive' The Twitter spat was in response to Sanders' demand that "the extremely wealthy pay their fair share." Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. Yes, believe it or not, it really does happen. Because you havent put a ring on it yet. 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), 31+ Good Comebacks to Use in an Argument With a Girl, Roommate Is Always in Living Room (How To Resolve This), Roommate Brings Unwanted Guests Home! Funny Answers to How Are You Doing? Are you always this dumb, or are you making a special effort today? Single is the new blackif that even makes sense! Stop joking! You go first, lets see if mine was better or worse. Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! I think I am doing alright. "I am doing good, thank you" is basic, and you can do better than that! "Accept the facts for what they are, and be grateful you're not being strung along or played.". Are you asking just to make yourself feel better? Im too expensive. Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. Youre a ground-hugger. "My level of sarcasm has gotten to a point where I don't even know if I am kidding anymore.". Socrates (philosopher), "The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated." Why is it OK for you to be an idiot, but not OK for me to point it out? It takes a specific kind of person to ghost someone its really not that hard to send a quick Im not interested text but rest assured, they exist. 37. funny response to are you still alive 09 June 2022. no disease, including cancer, can exist in an alkaline environment / siberian husky mask types Just so you know, I value me time over we time. Nice and dandy, like cotton candy. Take Your Time. Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. I'm afraid I can't do that. Edgar A Shoaff (author), "Death is a very narrow theme, but it reaches a wide audience." I only went to the gym four times instead of my usual five." Sarcastic response: "Yeah totally. Getting into a romantic relationship with someone may seem like a good idea, but so was getting into Titanic. 62. I see youve chosen this time to humiliate yourself in public. Sure isnt my pay, Im still pretty broke. Not sure why you're asking me my age. Im sorry. As unlikely as this is, it might be wise to double-check. A little bit worse now that youve asked. Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. Ive never seen such a small mind inside such a large head before. Hopefully he'll compliment you right back. Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. Oh, well 8. If I was doing any better, I would hire you to enjoy it with me. 4. More like give me a sign that you're still alive. Did someone leave your cage open? However, the time it takes for a puppy to grow up is a lot longer than it should take for someone to reply to your message. Youre about as sharp as a bowling ball. How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that? I really thought you already knew. Sometimes, it can be hard thinking on your feet, especially when youre joking around with your friends or in the midst of a heated exchange. If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. 12. Because Ive been waiting for you all my life. Because your ass is out of this world! I dont have time to accommodate other human beings in my life! If you want, Ill give you a discount, baby. If receiving a text from your ex elicits strong negative feelings, it is best not to respond. Im a wreck of a human being, thats why! upstart loan login; jim bell siloam mission salary; . TikTok video from Mark Winston (@markwinstonbball): "Are you still alive? Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. You sure have a bodacious rackfor a guy. I am not looking for anyone, and neither is anyone looking for me. I dont think youre stupid. "Still alive" is polite. Because I prefer the company of dogs/cats rather than humans. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. 9. I love you. I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. Still, the ghosters ghost on. However, I dont recall anything about morons. One common excuse that people come up with when they take a while to reply is Im bad at replying. 64. My favorites were: "I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my toenails." "I'd rather be in hell with both arms cut off." He was an angry, creative man. What? Could be better, though. 17. Your email address will not be published. Depending on your mood and relationship with the person, you can go one of many ways. But, as soon as we feel better, that person no longer serves their purpose. OK, so now at least you should have some idea of how to respond if your ex texts you out of the blue. [Read: 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend]. [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. via: Pexels / George Pak. The best GIFs are on GIPHY. It's best to say when you're in a horrible situation, like in a class you can't stand. (perfect for vegans). 26. Ever wanted to be the wise-ass who always has a comeback for everything? [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. Have you been thinking? This was one of the quickest ways there was to send a message from one person to another. Hopefully, youll stay there. 1. count_scoopula 6 yr. ago. Or "Better than some, not as good as others.". funny response to are you still alive. 4. As geeky as it is, this funny response to I love you has got to make you chuckle. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual. Patrick Moore (astronomer), He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. HH Munro (author), My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldnt wish to meet. . What do you say when people ask you that? The data will take longer to reach Earth than it would if it was sent from someone on Earth. How dare you assume such a thing just a confusing remark. Surveys show that divorce rates are nonexistent among single people. If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. 36. It's Okay. StyleCraze provides content of general nature that is designed for informational purposes only. Alright so far, but there is plenty of time for things to get bad. If you are, then maybe were meant to be! If there is just one valid reason for someone not replying to you, that reason would be their death. Make sure you give witty responses only to persons close to you, or you know they wont get offended by such responses. I'm used to it, anyway. 67. To text, most of us need our thumbs. You enjoy making this girl smile and make her day with your humor. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. 94. 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. You just have bad luck at thinking. I'm wondering how you are. 81. Youre like Monday: no one likes you. It doesn't mean that you don't actually take showers. Save the high-quality PDF version on your device now. I will leave that up to your imagination. I am better on the inside than I look on the outside. Not bad. Stellar, great, fantastic but dead inside. 54. Living the dream! Thats because Im like the last slice of pizza. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. Id hug and kiss you if you were single, just like me. What to say when your crush asks how you are? Thank you, it made my day. Im still trying to figure out an answer to that question if Im honest. It would be great if puppies would stay puppies forever. "If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. Before I answer, I let you know that those who know my age get bad luck. So, it might be wise to double-check they're still alive before you complain. Thats because my husband/wife wont let me date. 28. Just look what happened there! Youre not really expecting them to write you an essay. Humans are very complex creatures, but we're also creatures of habit who say one thing when we mean another. Boom. 10. No? Maybe because I lick my plate clean after having a scrumptious meal. Why dont you tell me, you seem to have a pretty good view from there. If someone is going to ask you the same old everyday questions, I dont think Im being unreasonable when I say theyre probably just going through the motions and not really interested in your answer. Financially? 7. However, you can check out some of our ideas if you want to shake things up and change how you respond to how are you?. On the plus side, a little humor injected into someones day can have a positive impact on their otherwise average day! "Can't complain" is a normal response to the question, but by throwing in the following sentence, you should get a laugh. Check-in later and well find out if I did or not. I have a gold watch that belonged to him. Because Jamaican me crazy! Figuring out how to respond to a ghoster is all a matter of accepting whats done. Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. Whether its the Roman empire or feudal society. Scroll down! "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." There is not always a need to be so funny, witty, or clever. Death is inevitablesome might even say it is a terminal inconvenience or a reason to suddenly stop sinning. Not even the fussiest, or clingiest person in the world would expect a dead person to reply to them. You don't need to say it. Was that comment meant to offend me? If this doesnt cause them to reply, then maybe you should rethink your friendship with this person. Alexa's response: I'm sorry, Dave. Giving witty and interesting responses instead of the generic Im fine is often the smartest way to kickstart a nice conversation after the greeting How Are You?. It could always have been worse. Im jealous of people who dont know you. Thinking of you not existing makes me want to masturbate. My day was fine, it was everything else that was the problem. This one is funny when you havent said anything. Because if you are, youre doing it right. Im sorry I hurt your feelings. Have you met food? Physically? I hope you are at your best too. I dont know how you do it, but after a shower, you look even greasier. [deleted] 5 yr. ago. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. You nervously reply "yeah, but I'm a little busy and-", only for one person to reply "um, no one asked you. Playful and sassy dig, then blocked. Perfect for that BRB, shower text that they never BRBd to. "Tony, I'm here to be for you what someone once was for me. It is a humorous way of saying they have not heard from you in a while. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. Let's grab a drink" 3) "Hey, how was that [insert something specific she mentioned when you met her]?" 4) "You can stop worrying about me I made it home safely last night" This just in: Bad communication skills are not trending this season! 22. Sort of. The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. Steven Wright (comedian).
Salt Point Margarita Nutrition Facts, Homes For Sale In Eastern Tennessee With Acreage, Tides For Fishing Huguenot Park, Hulk Universal Rights, Articles F